They Both Die at the End

I THINK MY COPY IS MISSING A FEW PAGES AT THE END

THERE’S NO WAY THAT WAS THE ENDING IT CANT BE REAL IT’S NOT IT'S NOT

*here lies the beginning stages of self-denial*

*withdrawal TBDATE symptoms*

Hail, bitches. I now present: the saddest and most haunting book I have ever read.Unfortunately, this one's going to stay with me for awhile :(

Before you even read the first page, you already know this is not going to be your average read (the two boys' shadow on the cover is literally the Grim Reaper, honestly how worse can it get). And when you actually start the book, you must prepare yourself. You must wrap your little heart in the toughest steel imaginable and you cannot open it up even a sliver for Rufus, or Mateo, or the Plutos, or Aimee, or Lidia, or anyone. You cannot flinch when certain events occur.

Initial thoughts upon finishing this book:

1. What the fuck did I just read?

2. LOOK AROUND, LOOK AROUND AT HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW (If you understand that reference, please friend me. I think we'd be great friends.)

3. I've been alive for the past eighteen years and I'm so ashamed because I haven't been living every day like Rufus and Mateo.

4. Rufus and Mateo will be in my hearts forever.

5. I'm sorry, what is ENglish? I no understand nOthIng

For people who haven't read the book, (first of all, go read it) you might be wondering if Rufus and Mateo really die at the end. (view spoiler)

Let's talk about the characters first. Rufus and Mateo. Oh my god. Did someone say PRECIOUS? Because I don't think you said it loud enough. Mateo and Rufus are one of the best duos ever. I don't understand the DYNAMIC, the CHEMISTRY, the LOVE, the FRIENDSHIP, the TRUST, the EVERYTHING. I. CANNOT. COMPREHEND.

WHY

DID

THIS

BOOK

END

THAT

WAY

WHY

AM

I

SO

BROKEN

WHY

I legit feel like shit right now because my entire life I've just taken everything for granted while there are people like Roof and Mateo living, like truly living, and here I am reading sad books and crying over them. Like that is utter bullshit. What have I been doing with my life thus far? omg

And now, let us address the bitches in the room. To all the people saying they hate/dislike this book because it has insta-love, go feed yourself to a crocodile. Let's get one thing straight: I have opposed insta-love from the day I was born (exaggeration), and I will oppose it until the day I die (not an exaggeration). HOWEVER, HOW-FUCKING-EVER, this is the only time I will EVER love a book that has insta-love. EVER. Because this book deserves it. Because the characters deserve it. AND IF YOU FEEL OTHERWISE THEN KEEP YOUR SHITTY OPINION TO YOURSELF. NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.

The side characters are legit some of the best side characters I've ever read about. Lidia? Aimee? The fucking Plutos? The best. Everyone was fleshed out wonderfully, and I wouldn't have wanted them delivered in any other way.

The side characters' perspectives were probably my favorite part about this entire novel. It was a very unique, complex way to not only stir the pot and bring on the conflict, but it also helped me see how life and people and things are connected in so many fucking ways and it's sad because we don't even realize it.

Peck, The Fucking Whore, no matter how much I hate his cowardly guts, works as a wonderful antagonist. His fears and jealousy and issues felt so realistic and true to me that it was easy to understand his motives and why the fuck he tried to fill my beans with bullet holes.

Now I am going to share this quote with you all, because I want everyone to cry with me and share the pain and misery:

We rest our heads on his pillows. I’m hoping we die in our sleep; that seems like the best way to go.

I kiss my Last Friend because the world can’t be against us if it brought us together.

But if we sit here and think to ourselves for a moment, and we ask ourselves who the villain is, can we truly say that it was Peck? Because I don't think it was. Thus we are left with the question: Is the antagonist Life? Because clearly, with this quote, the reader has to take a moment and decide for themselves if the universe has our back or not. Mateo and Rufus contemplate the meaning of Fate and if they could ever believe in such a thing. Clearly Adam Silvera thought it important enough to include, which means that Fate, and the Universe, and Life all have something to do with why Rufus and Mateo met, and why (view spoiler).

I think the saddest part was (view spoiler), and how Mateo had promised Rufus he wouldn't leave their little island, and he STILL LEFT THEIR LITTLE ISLAND, and how he left to go make tea for them because he is such an angel and he was trying to do something nice, but he forgot (view spoiler) and he just (view spoiler) *sadness* *listens to own heart breaking*

MATEO YOU ASS

YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE THE ISLAND

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

i love you so much i'm so sorry for yelling at you

you have the most precious heart ever i swear we will (view spoiler)

Okay. Now it's time to discuss (view spoiler). That's not fucking fair. It's not fair what happened. He didn't deserve it. And I could scream he didn't deserve ten thousand times and it would change nothing. No one, no one, deserves to get (view spoiler) After this happened, I couldn't help thinking that the world was a little hideous and it was ugly and it was cruel and it was stupid and unfair. He did not deserve it. He was the last person that deserved that fate. Mateo was sweet and kind and beautiful and selfless, and he always thought about others before he thought about himself, and he always put others before him, and he was a fucking kid for God's sake, he was eighteen years old and he was bright and he would've had a bright future, and he would've done something to keep changing the world, to keep it expanding and evolving. He would've. I'm certain. And it's just not fucking fair. It's not right. The world is cruel to take someone like him in such a cruel circumstance, to take someone so pure and good and kind.

Now it's time to talk about what I've tried avoiding since I began this review: That. Ending. What was that???? Adam Silvera, sir, what. Was. That. Okay, I get it. Like I seriously get what you were trying to do. I know you were trying to create an unforgettable ending (which you did) that made the reader think a lot and have people draw their own conclusions (which I did), BUT STILL. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO US? WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST GIVE US WHAT WE WANTED. LIKE THAT ENDING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS AND BREATHTAKING BUT I AM NOT SATISFIED AT ALL.

I think the ending was beautiful, and magical, and wonderful, but it was also really sad and heart-breaking. It was an excellent conclusion to the novel, except that my heart is gone and I can't find it because Rufus has it, and Mateo has it, and Lidia, and Aimee, and the Plutos and all those stupid bitches. And I honestly won't be forgetting any of them anytime soon.

And now, here are the rest of the quotes that made me ball my fucking eyes out:

"My Last Message would be to find your people. And to treat each day like a lifetime.”

--

The death of their friend, no matter how it ends, will stay with them forever. Entire lives aren’t lessons, but there are lessons in lives.

You may be born into a family, but you walk into friendships. Some you’ll discover you should put behind you. Others are worth every risk.

The three friends hug, a planet missing from their Pluto Solar System—but never forgotten.

--

Malcolm stares out the window, wishing he could glimpse Rufus on his bike turning a corner, and finally he cries, these loud, stuttering sobs, not because he’ll now have a criminal record, not because he’s scared to go to the police station, not even because Rufus is dying, but because the biggest crime of all tonight was not being able to hug his best friend goodbye.