Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. If I had more willpower to add more ‘ugh’ to my ‘ugh’, then I would. But I don’t. Because I’m tired. Of this. Book.
I
hate
this
book
with
every
ounce
of
sanity
in
my
soul
And I feel bad that I do, 1) because I was really looking forward to loving it, and 2) because it’s by Marissa Meyer, the same fucking author of the amazing, fantabulous Lunar Chronicles which .... doesn’t make any sense to me. How can the same person have written both a piece of artwork and a piece of trash?
I
don’t
understand
I
know
no
logic
I
am
confusion
I hate Nova. I hate Adrian. I hate Adrian’s alter ego. I hate everyone. I hate everything about this book. Oh my god the hatred is overwhelming. I wanted to perish. I wanted to throw myself into the fucking sea reading this book. But I survived. I am a Renegades survivor. Amazing. Wonderful. And to think I ever doubted myself.
What
was
the
point
of
this
book?
(I’m going to keep doing this format because it’s almost as irritating as this book was.)
Was I supposed to like Nova? Because I didn’t. I thought she was a one-dimensional stuck-up character just like every damn person in this pointless book. I also thought she was a bitch (and not the good kind, but the annoying kind where she doesn’t know when to shut the hell up and acts like she’s a strong female protagonist but is really just an annoying little fucker).
I hated every single person and every single word and every single thing that happened in this book. Why? Well, mostly because there was nothing, literally nothing I liked about this book, nothing I cared for in the slightest, and nothing that excited me. As a reader, I’m supposed to be convinced to turn to the next page, but for some reason, all I wanted to do was fling this stupid, pointless thing out the window and have some unsuspecting fool trample on it and blame it on Meyer. I’m astonished that I even made it to the 130 page mark. I am utterly amazed. Utterly.
Throughout the book I was just reading about .... nothing. Nothing at all. And I kept waiting for that something, that special spunk, that inimitable seasoning, yet all I got were big fat pools of nothing.
Let’s also ignore the fact that the title of this book gets us hype for some really dangerous, adventurous shit, and then we get ... we get ... (wait for it) (drumrolls please) .... nothing. Absolutely nothing.
The plot was nonexistent. Or maybe it was existent. Maybe the plot was written in invisible ink and everyone else owns glasses to see through the ink and I was the only person who hadn’t gotten the memo. I don’t know. Maybe I had to get to page 309 for the plot to start kicking in. Guess what? I’m not waiting that long. If you don’t pull me in early, and if you don’t do it thoroughly, good fucking bye, I’m throwing your book into the canal and I am shipping it off to a place where no one can ever find it, because I am 100% sure they would suffer the way I did.
I feel like I need to say this again, and with a bit more clarity this time, and a bit more volume and emphasis, because I feel like I wasn’t really clear enough.
I
HATE
THIS
BOOK
WITH
EVERY
FIBER
OF
MY
BEING
Sometimes I just sit there and I wonder. I wonder things. I wonder and I ponder and I question this book’s existence. Like why? What is the point of this? Why do the characters exist? Why did they meet? But most of all, Marissa Meyer, how did you endure? How did you endure writing about these characters for hours, months, years?? How could you tolerate them? I would have cried so hard I could see my own damn reflection in that puddle of tears.
This book was utter torture. How did I bear it for so long? I hated it. Most of all, I hated the love interest. Adrian? Seriously? Who in their right minds could ever like Adrian? He’s just so plain. Boring. Pointless. He is a waste of perfectly good air. Sure he’s nice and kind and whatever, but where is the rest of him? I just couldn’t bring myself to care about Nova, or Adrien, or any of the other little bastards in this book because they were all so idiotic and stupid and dumb and at this point I’m fully aware that I am just using synonyms for the word ‘idiotic’ but I just don’t care, because honestly this book just made me want to jump off a cliff.
DNF. MAJOR. DNF. I stopped around page 127 and usually I feel hella guilty after DNFing a book, but for this one I do not, because Renegades deserves it.
This book needs to self-destruct. That is my final statement. Good day.
And please. To all you Renegades fans, please do not try and send persuasive essays in the comments section about the beautiful, wonderful things about this book. I don’t give a shit. I don’t even give half a shit. This review is my opinion, and if you do not share it, that’s totally fine!!! I just don’t care about this book at all, and hearing any positive things you have to say about it will only make me extremely irritated. So please, if this offends you in any way, just move about your merry day! Ignore this little jab at your possibly-favorite-book-in-the-whole-wide-world, because after all, I am just one person.
And this is just. One review.✌🏽😃