Sometimes you reread a book and the meaning changes.
I read it the first time when I was 14, and now I’ve read it at 16. It’s no longer a simple love story about a girl allergic to the world with a good plot but somewhat predictable. But then you read it the second time and it’s like the first page kidnaps your heart. Steals your breath. Holds you at gunpoint and demands that you finish the entire 306 pages in one go.
I will never forget how this book changed me. It taught me that life is not worth living without a cause, without believing that every one of us deserves happiness. This book taught me that it’s OK to make mistakes, that we’re human, that deep down we all just want to be loved. This book taught me that life is about taking risks — and I don’t mean being reckless — but knowing when it’s time to break some of those rules in order to do what’s right for you. This book taught me that life is full of making sacrifices — big and small — and also that we have to choose. We have to choose our moments, we have to choose our battles, our words, the people around us, the people within us, and sometimes we have to make hard decisions. Sometimes these decisions will require sacrifices, but these are sacrifices we have to make.
Most of all, this book taught me that life is a gift. Life is full of laughter and disasters, hugs and bad times. But with the good, we must also take the bad. We must live life every second of every day smiling. We must take leaps because sometimes life is not always kind.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just giving this book way too much hype. But different stories mean different things to different people, and this book means every life I have ever lived and every breath I have ever taken. I am glad I read this again.
This is one of those books that you reread and you feel at home. This is one of those books with characters that make you feel like life is worth celebrating every second. This is one of those books that wrenches your heart out and makes you cry and question everything and doesn’t apologize for it.
Part of me is mad at this book for making me swoon over a guy like Olly who is only ever perfect in books. Part of me is mad at this book for making me believe that guys like Olly exist. I should resent these kinds of books where they give false hope and shed reality. But my heart already adores this book, and I don’t think I can forget it, even if it is surgically removed from my two-timing heart.
I want to believe that if this book was real, Olly would still love Maddy even though they couldn't be together. I want to believe that if this book was real, that he would still send her all those emails that made her laugh and cry and also say goodbye.
But I can’t help that part of me that always doubts, wondering if there is even a single universe out there where a Maddy and an Olly can come true. I think that’s why I love this book so much, because it doesn’t take heed of how life usually is; it simply unfolds the way it wants to.
Which is exactly why you have to read it.